Mother’s Day

P1020859She passed away a year ago. The first Mother’s Day without her…. I was pretty numb. So this one feels different.

Everything she did was perfect. La Chambre Syndicale de la Haute Couture would have appreciated her sewing. A clairvoyant once told me she sewed in previous lifetime for Louis XIV… which would explain more than just a few things. Her cooking was phenomenal, her petit-point and penmanship won contests, her book-keeping always reconciled to the penny and she always looked lovely.

She got distracted too, so I came by my distraction honestly. She wanted to be a nurse at a young age but it was not written in the cards. She lost more babies than she was able to keep, 5 out of 9 pregnancies. She adapted and built new dreams. She was incredibly strong and fought hard through her cancer. But her heart was tired from battle.

I know some of you know what it is like to lose your Mom. You think to call her and then remember she’s not there anymore. A smaller Sunday dinner table. And that void on Mother’s Day. I suppose we could be grateful we are not starving in some ravaged corner of the earth but it takes me a lot to get there. So this Mother’s Day, I will remember mine quietly, deeply and I will be ever grateful she was mine.